I was struck today that I can’t live life like I’m waiting; waiting for a husband, a career, and financial security. Sure, I want those things but approaching each day as if they are “missing” robs me of living fully, appreciating the present. The only thing I am “missing out” on is contentment when I live like my life hasn’t started because those things are not a part of it. Living like I’m waiting is a horrible testimony—it also is debilitating, causes me to have weak knees, drooped hands, and a wilting spirit. IT is the open wound in which bitterness, discontentment, envy, and anger fester. That’s why I must change my perspective, I need to be joyful in hope (Romans 12:12) not wounded and waiting.
Sure, I still desire each of those things in life, but my confidence and contentment, more importantly, my value and purpose, aren’t defined by obtaining them. I can’t hold back because I want to “give God an opportunity” and “well, if I do ___ then how could ___ ever happen?” Forgetting God knows my desires, and will faithfully cultivate the ones He wants to bring about and use in my life.
Today has so much purpose; I don’t want to miss it because I am dwelling on future possibilities, not the present gifts.
This doesn’t mean I don’t live in light of the future, that would be irresponsible, but I just can’t find my contentment and security in the imagined realities for it—let’s be honest, those rarely happen according to our plans. The Bible tells us to live in light of the future, (Hebrews 12) not the fulfillment of earthly desires, but of heavenly promises, when the full weight of glory is present.
This view; future, heavenly, hope is enabling and encouraging. When I remember the hope of heaven, I can hope for the things I desire on earth without being dismayed in my perceived delay of them. I can trust that as His daughter I “lack no good thing”(Psalm 34:10). The only thing I need to be content is to choose it. So today I want to choose to be content, to stop living like I’m waiting and living in gratitude, in light of grace, in the hope of heaven.
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