Embracing THIS Season

              Today is another foggy January morning. It has been an interesting week. Sunday was a day of joy-filled teaching—I reveled in watching the 4 to 9 year old boys embrace Jesus as the crusher of the Snake, and delighted in their joy at seeing my safari pictures—which were totally applicable to the Noah’s ark story…

This week however, has also been rough...it has been a twilight zone of dead ends with getting in contact with the school district I have been hired onto but have yet to do orientation with…and it has also been full of strong and powerful Kenya flashbacks…from the bumps of the safari van with the wind in my hair, to the dusty dirt sidewalks and the smell of fresh rain. These came at the most random and caught off guard moments. As the week has progressed I found myself anxious and disillusioned. I became frustrated with this apparent “holding time” as the things I feel called to work for are months away. Comparison is an ugly and vicious cycle—it is easy to look at others’ lives—their accomplishments, marriages, families, etc—and to feel like I am not measuring up. But I have to take a step back…

The past couple of days have been reminders to rest in what I can see. Our futures come one day at a time and I miss out on the purpose of this day—rest—when I am anxious or striving for a future that I really can’t change. I had to come to a place of surrender and humility—I had to admit that there are so many aspects of life I can’t control and that striving to do so is a form of futile pride. A wise friend reminded me that this is a season, there is good in it and chances are life will only speed up from here. I needed to learn to embrace this season as much as I want to be moving forward.

While I was in Kenya, I wrote about it being my “40 years in the desert” much likeIsrael. What I didn’t realize was that the analogy would also pertain to this season of re-entry. I’ve been in the “desert” its been dry, frustrating, monotonous, and discouraging at times.  But I needed to be here. I needed the time to reflect, to sort out the crazy experience that Kenya was and to grieve the many losses of the past year. I needed to trust God for the manna in this desert. I needed this test of faith after obediently following him to Kenya. I needed to learn to embrace each season—the mountain tops to the monotonous.

 
Ironically enough, in the middle of typing this post I received an email telling me that orientation for a job at the school district is next week. I am grateful and beyond blessed.