This past week really inspired all of those things.
One factor was the continuation of a long term substitute position that means
my days are completely full from 6:30 AM to 6:30 PM. I have realized how much I
need rest and to be intentional about scheduling in things that are restful and
rejuvenating—like daily exercise and taking time to read and journal. I need
those habits to stay rested and to be recharged for the next day. In addition,
in a Wilberforce book I’ve been reading (but sadly had to return to the library
before finishing…) Real Christianity, he relates the importance of taking
adequate time to be refreshed and to study scripture. Even though he wrote the
book over 200 years ago, it rings true when he states that “so often people
think their leisure time must be spent in mindless things to be restful…we
think studying the scripture is too serious and weighty to be refreshing…when
actually spiritual refreshment through study is what we need” (MY paraphrase).
SO true—I have to be intentional (and I’ve been failing miserably the last few
weeks with the new schedule) in carving out time in my busy day to read and to
simply rest. Thankfully, each week it
has gotten easier to get up early, and my energy hasn’t dragged as much in the
mid afternoon. I keep reminding myself that it is always a blessing, that God
is in the small things—like all the little victories with the kids each day—and
that while this is a huge benefit for grad school—there is purpose in it for
today.
Another part of this week’s inspiration and lessons
has been the reminder that I need to live in repentance and remembrance.
Through journaling, reading that trusty Wilberforce book, and the sermon on
Sunday, I was reminded of Isaiah 30:15-“This is
what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest
is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have
none of it” (NIV). How true this is of me—so easily forsaking times of quiet,
solitude, and yes—self-reflection that leads to new goals, humility, and
repentance for ways I have been selfish, cowardly, prideful. Today, as I made
time to work out physically—my thoughts wandered to this verse and I realized
that in many translations repentance means “returning”. Yes—when I do take the
time to reflect and repent—I return to so many things—peace, joy, hope,
contentment—all because I have put my Savior in His rightful place—first. I
return to him and gain perspective this allows me to rest. Rest because I don’t
have to get it right, be perfect.
For the third R—remembrance—well, I’ve just had a
week of strong memories of Kenya—the hard red dirt beneath my feet, the sound
of sporadic building projects in my neighborhood, the smell after a hard rain,
the view from the tree house, the feeling of being bombarded with hugs and
showered with “how are you”. I have also been flooded with many bittersweet
memories—full of people I can’t make new ones with—a reminder that this life is
short, tomorrow is not guaranteed, I don’t want to waste it. One of my good friends remarked yesterday that one of the changes she sees in me since coming home is that I do take more time to rest and that it is so counter-culture because us Westerners deny the truth that rest isn't wasted time. I have been
inspired to plan for the future in prayer and in hope—knowing that this day
isn’t just a stepping stone on the way to the dreams I hope to live out—it’s a
part of it, today matters. Today I must choose to rest, repent, and remember.
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