He Hems Me In, Before and Behind--February 7th, 2015

A few weeks ago, in the midst of transitioning to my new job position, new “future” out of school, and renewed faith, I prayed. Boldly. A way I hadn’t since my feet were caked in the red Kenyan dirt.

God, Please show me how you’re working. Help me to have tangible heart-knowledge that you are in my circumstances—working and leading. I need to see you. Show me how your hand is at work—like in Ruth’s life—orchestrating my circumstances for my good and your glory.

                Admittedly, I was pessimistic, jaded, not really expecting an answer—but with a “mustard seed” of faith, hoping that this time, this prayer, would be different. This time he would move my calloused heart and stubborn mind and show me.
                Well, where do I begin? In the last week alone, I have seen answers to things I didn’t even have faith to pray about, months ago. Flippant thoughts of “oh, wouldn’t that be great if___” have actually come about—been brought up as possibilities in conversation as actually happening! The most encouraging was a prayer from December having a tangible, real, answer—yes, this week. My soul has leapt to life with hope and joy—God is present. He does orchestrate. The most encouraging thing is that I’m excited that God’s working—not as much about the specific circumstances and “yeses” but more that I have seen him answer. This is much different than I used to be. A new acquaintance eloquently wrote that “God blesses you seasonally, proportionately, and incrementallybecause he wants to bestow you both with the gift itself, and the gift offaith, and never the former without the latter”.

                Exactly. Awhile ago I prayed one of those prayers you never should pray—like asking for patience, that I would know what it was like to not know the hope of Jesus. Yes, I actually prayed that. And well, look at the last two years. He answered—yes, and the season was a gift. It increased my faith, my hope, my joy. He really does give good gifts—and hems them in, before and behind.