Two months into “on purpose, in peace”, my words for 2018.
What I’ve been reminded of multiple times, not always joyfully,
is that my right now matters. A couple weeks ago I found an old journal from my
college days somewhere around 2009, and it was so perspective-giving to look back
almost a decade (THAT can’t be right) ago—reliving college woes and triumphs,
remembering the initial pangs of hearing loss adjustment, and smiling that I
still write out book quotes that inspire me and client remarks that were
perfectly timed, in journals, today.
But what really stuck out, was the way I hoped and prayed for
things like going to grad school, going to Kenya, dreaming of what life would
be like after college, what the rest of my 20’s would hold. I poured out my heart—asking
for direction and clarity—and so wanting to be on the right path. I had a lot of
purpose, not a lot of peace (but what college student does?).
Today, I look back at HOW those dreams happened- Kenya in 2012, Graduate
school in 2013/2014. In looking at the past I had renewed peace for today—right
now used to be a dream-the things I have and have done felt like miles away in
2009. But that right now, back then, mattered. It taught me patience, and perseverance—the
very attributes I needed for grad school and Kenya.
This right now, matters. Not only for tomorrow’s dreams, but
also because it’s the result of so many yesterdays. Who you are today is not an
accident—it is the compilation of daily choices and opportunities. I can live
today on purpose and in peace when I remember that I don’t have to have the
dreams realized to be successful or have the man beside me to be loved. My life
matters because my Savior purposed it—he plants dreams and brings them at the
best time. Look back to look ahead in peace and to live today on purpose.
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