The tone of her words were all to familiar. Laced with fear
and doubt-certain that she was the problem-if only she could get herself out of
the way—be perfect in how she followed God. She obviously cares so deeply about
doing the right thing- using words like “I just want to do what God wants me to”…”to
not mess it up”.
I used to relate to this woman- I have many a fear-filled
journal where I poured out my anxious heart that was so certain that if I just
did the right things and got myself out the way, then God would bless me. Then
I wouldn’t have the same struggles. What if.
But what if, its not about getting yourself out the way- living
in fear that the next step you take will be your downfall? What if God wants
you to trust yourself. To trust that the Holy Spirit really is with you—that yes,
you have a flesh, but dear soul, you are being renewed day by day.
What if its less about a tightrope and more about learning
to walk. Tightropes are about performance, teetering where literally one small
move could send you over the edge. You’re isolated up on the rope, and everyone
is watching.
But when you’re learning to walk—there’s guidance, there’s
cheers for each brave step you take. Your parents near-ready to step in and
help you, encourage you, and to be with you as you learn. You would never tell
a baby to give up walking because they fell a few times—you would see that as
proof that they’re on the right journey.
What if, God looks at our walk with him like that? Knowing we’ll
teeter, fall, be a bit dramatic at times, and get distracted by our
surroundings. And this doesn’t cause him to shame us or walk away-but to cheer
us on-to give the support and guidance we need knowing each step and fall are a
part of the process. He wants us to have courage-because even with the sprit
within us- We have choice. We take the steps. Our part matters greatly.
So I think we miss out on so much God wants to do and celebrate within us when we think it would
be better if we “just got out of the way”. What if, God wants all you to show
up as you’re learning to walk. To not be afraid of yourself and to see your
days as a circus with judgement, but as a gym with growth. Each step and exercise
doesn’t bring less of you- it refines what’s already there.
So, dear sister, may you bring your whole self to what you’re
learning to walk in today. Whether you tend to be like Mary or Martha-remember
God was friends with both of them. We need what you have to offer the world.
May you be encouraged that it is in bringing yourself fully into what God has placed
before you that you learn to walk through the difficulties around you. We need
who you are today—and God is with you and for you-cheering you on as you learn
to walk into all He made you to be.
