learning to walk

 

The tone of her words were all to familiar. Laced with fear and doubt-certain that she was the problem-if only she could get herself out of the way—be perfect in how she followed God. She obviously cares so deeply about doing the right thing- using words like “I just want to do what God wants me to”…”to not mess it up”.

I used to relate to this woman- I have many a fear-filled journal where I poured out my anxious heart that was so certain that if I just did the right things and got myself out the way, then God would bless me. Then I wouldn’t have the same struggles. What if.

But what if, its not about getting yourself out the way- living in fear that the next step you take will be your downfall? What if God wants you to trust yourself. To trust that the Holy Spirit really is with you—that yes, you have a flesh, but dear soul, you are being renewed day by day.

What if its less about a tightrope and more about learning to walk. Tightropes are about performance, teetering where literally one small move could send you over the edge. You’re isolated up on the rope, and everyone is watching.

But when you’re learning to walk—there’s guidance, there’s cheers for each brave step you take. Your parents near-ready to step in and help you, encourage you, and to be with you as you learn. You would never tell a baby to give up walking because they fell a few times—you would see that as proof that they’re on the right journey.

What if, God looks at our walk with him like that? Knowing we’ll teeter, fall, be a bit dramatic at times, and get distracted by our surroundings. And this doesn’t cause him to shame us or walk away-but to cheer us on-to give the support and guidance we need knowing each step and fall are a part of the process. He wants us to have courage-because even with the sprit within us- We have choice. We take the steps. Our part matters greatly.

So I think we miss out on so much God wants to do  and celebrate within us when we think it would be better if we “just got out of the way”. What if, God wants all you to show up as you’re learning to walk. To not be afraid of yourself and to see your days as a circus with judgement, but as a gym with growth. Each step and exercise doesn’t bring less of you- it refines what’s already there.

So, dear sister, may you bring your whole self to what you’re learning to walk in today. Whether you tend to be like Mary or Martha-remember God was friends with both of them. We need what you have to offer the world. May you be encouraged that it is in bringing yourself fully into what God has placed before you that you learn to walk through the difficulties around you. We need who you are today—and God is with you and for you-cheering you on as you learn to walk into all He made you to be.