Encouraging Hearing Update

        Tonight I sit here encouraged and humbled- by Jesus' faithfulness and provision; even when I am distant and at times defiant.  As I sip on apple cinnamon tea, with an eclectic "Autumn Almanac" playlist in the background, I'll try to explain where I'm at in my journey with hearing loss.
         Today I had a 6 month follow up appointment with a Seattle-based Neurotologist who my uncle's friend (also a in neurotology) referred me to back in March. Before going I was apprehensive- back in March he had told me some hard news in a not so caring manner- that my hearing loss was probably the result of a syndrome that also caused my heart deformities and my height…and added that “your kids have a good chance of getting it too so you’ll probably want to do genetic testing”…apparently assuming that I wouldn’t want my kids to have the same thing (obviously, I want my kids to be healthy) but even before he said that I knew that any disability wouldn’t change my desire to have kids. Nevertheless, it is a hard thing to come to grips with. Additionally, every round of hearing test is nerve-wracking, I don’t want it to be worse, and I’m forced to look my fear in the face—because all too often I wrongly put my hope in the fact that I’m “managing” and that it’s “not any worse…YET”. Just this past week I was convicted of my reliance on my own ability to manage and my tendency to put my security in the sustenance of my current hearing- something I really can’t do much about. Needless to say, I was apprehensive this morning. Even during the tests I tend to overanalyze my “performance”. But at least this time I was reminded that even if my hearing is worse I am not less. I am no less loved, valued, or needed; those thoughts are a huge testament to the power of the Gospel. 
            Back to the appointment—after the usual round of tests, and an awkward discussion about insurance coverage (something I also need to entrust instead of “borrowing trouble from tomorrow” about—I was waiting to see the neurotologist. I was ushered into the room, and waited, again…praying for peace, for courage, and for humility to not take an attitude with him because of the off-putting visit in March. Thanks be to God—he was much more encouraging and related that my hearing test was actually better than the last 3 tests!! It was back to where it was when I first discovered my loss, in late 2007/ early 2008! He then stated that often inherited loss happens in stair steps with plateaus, and I’m currently in a undefined plateau. While there’s no way of knowing the future, he also stated that with the lack of distortion I have, I may never need a cochlear implant, but if I do that is still an option!
            I was so encouraged, so humbled, so blessed. In recent weeks so many people around me have been dealing with life threatening (and ending) diseases, it really puts my hearing loss in perspective! In addition, I’ve been reading through “Spiritual Depression” by Martin Lloyd-Jones and it has been one of the most convicting and comforting books I’ve ever read. Basically, he discusses the causes of it in Christians and how reorienting flawed perspectives of the gospel aids to relieve it. Anyway, to anyone who has prayed, thank you. And I ask you to check out these blogs/articles and pray for the people who are facing life-threatening illnesses.

Baby Reese with Cancer
Katie Collier, a Senior at my old High School and a star athlete with leukemia
my cousin Donna with congestive heart failure 
Baby Brielle- a premature baby, for her lungs, eyes, and ears

Also, add names in the comments and I'd love to keep them in my prayers!