Do you ever have those seasons where it seems like you’re walking in circles? It can seem like everything is against you and you’re alone in a quest that is beyond difficult, not at all what you signed up for, or would ever choose, almost like it was thrust upon you. To top it off, the destination isn’t all that appealing in light of the trouble it takes to get there. Like Frodo we want to give up, being so self-centered that we forget our stories are so much bigger than ourselves, there is so much going on and our “little” lives play a big part. Like George Bailey, it can take a rude awakening to realize that “you really have a wonderful life, don’t you see what a mistake it would be to throw it all away”. In the depths of pain and suffering we lose focus on the big picture because of the pain of our snapshot. I’m all too guilty of falling into seasons where life can seem bleak. It seems like things keep piling up at the same rate close friends get busy and real quick it seems like we’re alone. Like Frodo, and George Bailey, we need perspective. Need to stop listening to the lies and the long lists of “cannot and why me’s” that echo in our heads. We need to look out and look up. Look out into the world and realize how blessed we are not just in spite of our troubles, but in the midst of them. We’re blessed that we’re chosen, called according to HIS purpose. The hard things in our lives are to make us Holy, to impact HIS Kingdom for His glory. We need to be confronted like Frodo, to realize “'You really don't suppose, do you, that all your adventures and escapes were managed by mere luck, just for your sole benefit?”. This has helped me immensely when I get caught up in all the unknowns, wishful thinking, and unfulfilled dreams/wishes that seem to point to our eminent failure and to make eternity a mirage. We need a dose of reality and a renewed mind.
In a similar way, early Autumn is absolutely my favorite time of the year- I LOVE how all the trees burst with color, the crisp air, and Pumpkin Spice Lattes by a fire with a good book; but it also reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from a series by Jan Karon, that relates “One of the things that makes a dead leaf fall to the ground is the bud of the new leaf that pushes it off the limb”. I cannot help but think that all too soon the gorgeous displays of color will soon be gone, the trees will be bare, and days will be shorter and greyer. Personally, in the last month or so, I’ve felt this way spiritually, that the burst of color this summer was is just about through and that the bleakness and bareness of winter has set in. Only recently have I been called to remember that the bareness comes before fruit, new life is coming, buds of spiritual fruit are being cultivated in the coldness of winter. Our faith is tested because it is more precious than gold, it is refined in suffering. So even in the depths of a “spiritual winter” there is hope, there is purpose, there are good things happening. I worship not out of feelings but out of faith; out of faith that waiting will have rewards, eternal worth. Just like winter, this is a season, not forever, it is necessary but not ultimate. It is preparation and purposeful, not a waste of time.
Basically, this Spiritual “desert” is a season, purposeful and timely. Like a trek to Mordor it is difficult but has far surpassing worth, the bigger picture is a huge encouragement to persevere. Additionally, the Autumns and winters of my walk with Jesus are no less purposeful than the times of bright colors and ripe fruit, they are necessary and “okay” as seasons. God is working in ways I cannot imagine for His glory and my ultimate good. Always. I can curl up with a good book, hot tea, and pumpkin scented candles in expectation for growth that is to come but is already beginning.
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