I am not a single woman—January 14,2014

                “Whatever it is that is holding you back, you have to let go of the old patterns and replace them with a new one”—Jillian Michaels prodded a teary-eyed contestant. As I watched from my couch I was struck by two things—one, the ever increasing awareness of just how much the principles of my master’s program really are applied in real life—and two, how much Jillian’s words were applicable to me.

                It is so easy to get tunnel vision—to get in a rut of the days, the degree, the routine introduction you roll out at parties or when you run into a blast from the past. I’m in a master’s program at the UW, yeah, it’s busy…nope, still single, yeah, living with my parents is alright, yeah, definitely saving a lot of money. 

                What you choose to say when you first meet someone or are describing your current life to someone from the past, says a lot about how you define yourself.

                Those conversations echo your self-talk, self-concept, and what matters about you…”student, still single, still at home”—we all have mantras that hold us back.

                As the contestant conquered her fears, Jillian’s words encouraged me to remember I am more than the meet and greet conversations. My status is not my worth. They things I tell about myself are just about me—parts but not everything. I realized that my descriptions, and more importantly—my self-talk—were holding me back from really appreciating the gift that this season is.

                I am in the season of being a student, single, still at home—but those things are where, not who or what I am. The reasons are valid—something I, and many other twenty-somethings don’t have to feel embarrassed about or victimized by.

                Tonight, I am choosing to not be defined by where I am. I am so much more than the status of my career, my relationship, or my address. By the grace of God I am not my past and by his sovereign grace I am not defined by where I am. I am not a single woman, I’m a woman who is single, a student, a woman saved by grace. I can look ahead to the future and choose contentment today—not for where I am but whose I am.