When I come Alive

In the last hour I’ve written hundreds of words. Even as I went to shut my computer, I couldn’t stop the flow of words streaming from my soul. The dam of a year of busyness, study, and stress has broken and my mind is finally processing. As I’ve sat in the shade of an umbrella, my hair dancing in the wind as my fingers fly across the keyboard, I’ve realized this is when I feel alive. Writing isn’t just something I do to share my view or opinion—it’s part of who I am. For as long as I can remember I have taken time to write—even as I child I filled journals with notes and anecdotes. I am more aware of the environment around me, the people passing, the birds soaring—when my mind is engaged in writing. In the brief moments I look around I am soaking in the sights and sounds around me. Writing is what gets me excited—sharing my hurts and hopes through the written word is the way I am wired. My thoughts leap from one scene to another—often the theme of my posts leads to others—the last was about death—this is about life. Life is so much more than my work. Even today, as my future is more clear though contracts and signatures—I am grateful that who I am is not defined by my paycheck, my degree. the title of this post came from the song that flooded my mind as I attempted to draw myself from writing—switchfoot’s “Redemption” and the chorus “I've got my hands on redemption's side, Whose scars are bigger than these doubts of mine. I'll fit all of these monstrosities inside and I'll come alive”. In reality, writing is what releases the “monstrosities inside” and is what He has called me to do. It seems audacious to say that I’m called to write, but just like when a child I’m working with has a new “first”—it’s when I feel most alive. Writing frees me to hear His voice, to listen, to share and to relate. Writing, is when I come alive.