First full week at the school—God’s provision and perspective July 29, 2012

Last week was our first full week at Adventure Pride Center. Each day we walked the half hour one way from our cozy compound through the dusty and smog filled streets of Nairobi into the crowded, bustling, and puddle-ridden pathways of Kibera. The intricacies of the slum hit you in waves…different attributes from the myriad of smells to the shy smiles and the chorus of “how are you?!” from curious children fight for your attention. Upon arrival, we are greeted warmly by the teachers and hugged by the students. My days are intermixed with tutoring children and teaching creative arts. The activities have ranged from paper airplanes to elements of a story…basically whatever I come up with.

Another thing that struck me last week was my changing perspective on poverty. As we walked in the dust and dodged trash-crowded puddles I was struck by the fact that what the people need most here, like everyone, is our hope of Jesus, not our pity or necessarily for us to reach into our pockets.  The disparity of expectations for life and standard of living is great because of my personal perspective. Sure, there are many basic things that need to be improved here—sanitation, housing, roads, etc. but for the people here this is life. It is normal. What they need to see Is the hope of Jesus in the midst of their circumstances—not simply the “western”  hope of overcoming many seemingly insurmountable obstacles. My purpose isn’t to eradicate poverty; it’s to shine the hope of Jesus in the heart of it. It’s to let the children come to me. Material things do matter here; in the context of relationship they have so much more weight than the temporary full belly or new toy. The tangible things give more when they are given in the context of a gospel centered relationship. 

One thing that is constant is the assurance that I am called here for this season. It isn’t always easy…the walk is tiresome, and some days I don’t feel like I have the love and energy these children need.  But that’s the beauty—I don’t have to muster it up, I have to trust my Savior to provide. When I am weak He is strong. He has provided faithfully the energy I need to run around with the preschoolers and to play games with the older children, as well as the wisdom to meet the kids I tutor where they are at. It has been so encouraging to see how Jennie and I are able to joyfully use our strengths and talents here.   I have been blessed to see how my training in ABA therapy has helped with finding creative ways of teaching letters and sounds to students who struggle to grasp them. It is so humbling to see how God really does prepare our paths and direct our steps.  

An example of God’s provision is the way lunch for the children has been provided since our arrival. The school recently had to switch buildings because the one they were in was too small, and with that lost their funding for a lunch program. For many children it was their only certain meal of the day. It costs around $500 total per week to feed the 180 children and 10 staff. In the weeks we’ve been there we’ve seen God provide lunch through generous donors and have been blessed by the opportunity to share how this food is from God, not from us. During the bible study the girls smiled with amazement the first day lunches were provided because just last week they had written down questions/concerns/prayers for us to discuss and several wrote about being hungry. It was amazing to see how God used the donations not only to feed the kids physically but also to provide a window of seeing Him work in their circumstances. He is faithful. I am so blessed to be here.

                                           Ugali (maize flour and water), a staple meal here

sukuma wiki, a high in iron collared-greens like topping to ugali that is cooked with oil and tomatoes

Trust Him in The Process- July 22, 2012

One of the many things my month in Kenya has taught me so far is that I have to “trust God in the process”. I put that phrase in quotes because this morning, as I waited for the water heater so I could take a shower, I read over a piece of writing from almost exactly a year ago, titled “working in our waiting”. In that post I quoted a friend and guest speaker who articulated many encouraging things, including…”God’s not as concerned about getting us to a certain destination as he is that we learn to trust Him in the process of getting where he wants to take us”. This aptly describes my time in kenya. It has been a process in many ways; the preparation months before arriving, the language lessons, and the change of placements. I’ve been reminded countless times of the truth that it’s HIS will and work. He is the one who calls and sends and who provides. I have been so blessed by the encouraging words from so many people back home and by all the new friends and mentors here.

Last week was an amazing part of the process of growing and trusting that God is my constant, my provider, and joy. Jennie and I settled into our new placement at Adventure Pride Center, a school on the outskirts of the Kibera slum. It was an amazing week. The school is run by several caring men who are surrounded by dedicated teachers. There is an attitude of joy and an atmosphere of love at the school. It is a wonderful place of safety, acceptance, and joy for the children who are facing so many hard things. My days at the school consist of tutoring children in reading-- including a determined middle-elementary aged girl who doesn’t speak Swahili or English but who understood the components of letters A and B after 30 minutes of various instruction methods—a very rewarding experience! This tutoring time has also been a great way for me to get to know the children better on a personal level and some of their stories are heartbreaking but I am thankful they trust me enough to open up. In the afternoons I teach 35 minute “creative arts” classes to the upper levels and am really enjoying the process of coming up with fun projects for them. Two afternoons a week Jennie and I are leading Bible studies, a mixed group on Mondays and then all girls on Wednesday. The first week one of the students asked me when God was born—I can tell that these kids are eager to learn about God and I am so privileged to be a part of that.

two of the preschool cuties

The paper airplane art project

 

Needless to say, it’s been a week of change and also one of encouragement. A big prayer request is that I would be able to pick up Swahili phrases from those around me because I didn’t take lessons. Additionally, that I would have the words and wisdom with the children and with the bible study we lead. Continued health is also a big request because working in the slum is a place where many have gotten sick and I want to remain as healthy as possible to be there as much as possible. Thank you for your prayers!

Hope is Vulnerable July 17, 2012

What a difference a week makes. Last Tuesday I was up country, as they say here, cold, in the middle of a huge culture shock, and unsure of what the rest of my time in Kenya would look like. Today, I am back in Nairobi, encouraged and hopeful for what the next 5ish weeks will bring after a wonderful weekend safari and clear direction. Even though last week was one of the toughest of my life, I am so grateful for it. I know it taught me things about myself that I never would have learned, or may have taken a lot longer to learn. I can say with renewed faith and vigor that while a man plans his way in his heart, it is God who directs His steps.

Monday, before the decision was final that our placement was changing, I had a conversation with God that was a proverbial “wrestling match”, like Jacob had. I had a sense of fear about the possibility of returning to the difficult situation, but it was more of a vague foreboding than specific spots of fear. As I related this to God, he revealed the heart issue: vulnerability. I realized that what made the last week so challenging was that I was vulnerable in ways I never had been before…being a minority, not knowing the language, culture, being cold for a long period, and being disconnected from our “social networks”. Not to mention the constant vulnerability that my hearing loss brings. In his steady, encouraging and convicting voice, He touched that place in my heart that is terrified to be vulnerable. He admonished my fear and comforted me with his love—his perfect love that casts out the fear of vulnerability because it reminds me of his sufficiency, patience, and sovereignty. He is the great physician and he hurts to heal, like Lewis relates. It hurt to realize that I still harbor fear about vulnerability; in being here, in the possibility of losing my hearing, in relationships. But it was also refreshing because I know that working through this is part of my journey here. A direct example of this was how God provided what I needed when I was vulnerable; the friendship and conversations with Jennie, the call to my parents, the warm cup of coffee, and the friendship of one of the teachers there.  I know that this journey is not finished…I am sure that this will continue to be confronted in my time in Nairobi and beyond. But I know he is faithful and this is painful but purposeful.

Today, as I sat in the tree house, my new favorite quiet time spot, I looked around and watched all the beautiful birds as they fluttered from branch to branch, and was reminded of the truth that God provides for and takes care of the sparrows, and how much more will he do so for me. Furthermore, I was convicted that I need to have hope and trust Jesus in all things; knowing that last week will be a reminder of his provision in uncertainty and in vulnerability. Hope is vulnerable. Hope puts your dreams, desires, and plans out there in the hands of God and entrusts that He is faithful. I want to hope in all areas of life as I trust Him—his timing, his plans, his daily provision within the place I am and the people around me, where I am today and the people I am interacting with are no accident- they are divinely appointed.  My prayer is for humility and joy in vulnerability—trusting the Savior who provides.

Meeting Simba, Nala, Pumba and friends….with New Beginnings July 17, 2012

This is a difficult post to begin, mostly because I don’t know where to start…so cue this awkward sentence J.  To sum it up, God made it clear that our placement up north was not to be continued and that we were to return to and stay in Nairobi. He wills and works and this week was such a wonderful example of that. I am SO thankful for SIM and for the leadership here that is discerning, wise, and so supportive. Also, I am thankful for a peace that passes all understanding for both us and for the people there.  Today was our first day at our new placement in Kibera and it was night and day from last week. The staff was so welcoming and structured and we spent the day getting to know them and the kids. I will be teaching creative arts classes to the older children as well as helping out at bible studies after school for the older children. I am so thankful for how God works, gives peace, and opens and closes doors in his perfect timing and way. I know this will have its own set of challenges but I know that God will continue to strengthen, stretch, and teach me.

On a completely different note, Last weekend a group of us went on a safari to Maasai Mara, Kenya. Words do not do the trip justice. It was a perfect weekend of relaxation and refocusing after a tough week at our first placement. We had an amazing time seeing SO many animals: Lions, giraffes, gazelles, zebras, wildabeasts, monkeys, warthogs, cheetahs, and so much more. The scenery is beyond beautiful and I couldn’t help but sing “all creatures” to myself for most of the time…along with smatterings of Lion King songs and quotes. I’ll let pictures do the rest of the talking. Thank you for your continued prayers, support, and encouragement!

At the great rift valley

our group at the Tanzania and Kenya Border

with our lion friend :-)

A day of culture shock, then a morning of rejoicing . July 9th, 2012

The second post from our first ministry placement.  
               Today was crazy. A long church service in Kikuyu, lots of smiles, waves, hellos, and hand -shakes; and a lot of being stared at. The church service was unlike anything I have experienced. It definitely was a community event with many different speakers, songs, offerings and sharing. I did recognize the tune of “What a friend we have in Jesus”, which was comforting and just what I needed later in the day, the lyrics of that song ringing in my head.  It was surreal to have my dream realized—swinging in circles with a girl from the church on a rural road. The people were so welcoming. I am so thankful that my stomach has been handling the food weel. In the afternoon we walked a long way to the nearest town—past banana trees, fields of chai plants, and coffee plantations. We stopped several places with our “tour guide” and friend speaking with people he knows, including with a group of teenagers who loved our cameras. Teenage boys are pretty similar here… It was pretty overwhelming to be stared at by everyone, since we are some of the first muzugus to visit this area. Many townspeople wanted to shake our hands. It is a blessing but very overwhelming. I did cave and call home but I’m so glad I did. It was encouraging to be prayed for and to know that I am supported by my parents for my time here. I know this season of adjustment is hard, but it is such a short time. I remarked to Jennie today that while we cried tears of being overwhelmed upon arrival, I’m sure we’ll cry out of gratitude and sadness when we leave in August. I also talked with my mentor here which was so encouraging—it’s normal to be emotional and overcome in a new culture and being surrounded by a foreign language. Later on, we had a wonderful meal of chapati- a tortilla like thing with amazing beans and vegetables. I think I’m going to gain weight here and I definitely want to bring chapati back to the USA. We’ve had fun teaching a few English words to the grandmother we’re staying with including many repetitions of “Yum!” and “good!!” at meals.

                What a difference a good night’s sleep makes. Today, Monday, has been such a day of renewal. Last night was rough, but rejoicing comes in the morning. I slept well and was ready to meet the students, teachers, and visit the classrooms. We received a warm welcome and the students sang “Father Abraham” a song we sang with the Sunday school students yesterday at church. We visited each classroom and heard the names of each child and learned a little bit of what they were studying. While at the morning assembly I was encouraged to notice that I brought enough pencils for each child here to have at least one—so encouraging to know that my prayers while shopping for school supplies were answered. During their long recess Jennie and I brought out our cameras and had so much fun taking pictures of their poses and rejoicing with them in laughter after looking at them. At the end of the recess time the teacher in me started a game of “duck duck goose” which the students of every age caught on to quickly and enjoyed. I can’t wait to start teaching and to learn so much from the people here.

Crazy Love—not an easy thing - July 7, 2012

These next two posts were written last week at our initial placement and I'm posting them after the fact to give a well-rounded picture of my first week of placement.

Tonight I am in a rural part of Kenya writing and trying to process this day of new experiences. Jennie and I left this morning with an encouraging send off. I was amazed how fast the scenery changed from city to country. A lot of it reminded me of the drive to Moyobamba from Tarapotto in Peru. There were lush green plants, trees, and many rich colors of soil. It was somewhere along the winding, ascending, cloud-touching road; as we passed coffee plantations and kiosks that it hit me, once again, that I’, HERE. God is so faithful, He does know the plans he has for me. They are to prosper and not to harm me—but that doesn’t mean they are easy or pain free. Crazy love is costly. This trip, however rural, hasn’t been a walk in the park. Ive been tired, emotional, uncomfortable by the change in culture (times two…from Nairobi to here is a HUGE change). Where we are is an hours drive from the city. The loudest things have been a downpour on a tin roof and a rooster who faithfully crows on the hour—our own “Big Ben”.

                Once arriving, I was a waterfall of tears…which seems to be my body’s coping mechanism in the midst of change. I wasn’t sad—just overwhelmed. After looking around our home, Jennie and I visited with the teachers and waved to children eagerly looking out their classroom windows. After a good lunch, we played cards while our bodies adjusted to the cool temperature, because of the altitude here. Later on, I had the opportunity to share my limited knowledge of picture communication with one of the teachers who will be our mentor here. It was a divine appointment as she has studied ECSE and was so eager to know what I can pass on. There is also a school not far from here for children with disabilities that I hope to be able to share the materials and info I have. I am so humbled to see God’s timing in this trip and in preparing me beforehand. I know I will never be able to look at verses that talk about His plans, desires, will, and timing the same way. A few days ago I was encouraged by the conviction that this is a “beautiful season of growing in dependence and trust…and that it will forever be a marker for me of God’s faithfulness and provision; but it will also be my ’40 years’”.

                Even today, I was amazed at how quickly I felt the pangs of not being connected and was almost embarrassed by how lonely I felt. I was also struck by how strong my love languages are—quality time and words of affirmation, because the absence of those usual connections via internet and phone were/are so difficult here. I had to cry out to God to be near, be my hope, my companion, my joy, and my encouragement. This short time will be my desert from social media, but I trust that it will also be a time of great growth. I definitely felt the prayers this week on my behalf. I am surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses. This season seems crazy, I’ve wondered why I am here, but I’m becoming more and convinced of how crazy Christ’s love is because of the examples of people here who so quickly call me family, to the stories back home of adoption and grace. How can I resist God’s crazy love, and how crazy would I be to not embrace and obey the ways he wants me to demonstrate that? I know this will be a difficult 5 weeks in many ways; but I trust that it is purposeful and instrumental in my understanding and mirroring of Christ’s crazy love for me.

Providential Perspective July 12, 2012

The sound of birds, the chill of the morning air, and the mosquito net around me; tell me that I’m here. The language barrier, cold weather, and myriad of cultural differences frustrate me. Why am I really here? Why did I give up time, money, energy, comfort; and why did I underestimate the sacrifice all that would be? Why?

Because of an inexpressibly constant and powerful tug on my heart. Because my father loves me perfectly. Because he paid the ultimate sacrifice to show the depth of his heart and redeem me—the chief of sinners. I am here because of His provision and timing. He works and wills for his pleasure. Out of His abundant love he uses his chosen to reveal Christ.

I have joy. I have joy in the midst of a foreign culture and language because it reminds me that this world is not my home. I have joy in the meal times of different food because Christ is the bread of life. I have joy when the children run with laughter and awe toward me because I am being like Jesus, letting the little children come to him. I have joy when I am confronted by my white skin—the stares of the community, the fear of a little child, hundreds of fingers running through my hair—because in a small tangible way I am being used to unite the body of Christ which has no racial or cultural barriers. I have joy in the midst of sorrow—of having a beautiful 10 year old girl as my personal face of the HIV/AIDS epidemic because it forces me to fall on my face in prayer to my Savior, and reminds me He is our hope, healer, and sustainer.

I have hope. I have hope in my Savior who provides. I have hope when  I am privileged to hear the dreams of the children here. I have hope for this country of hospitable, welcoming, and curious people. I have hope because HE is sovereign. He is my hope , joy, comfort, and peace. He has chosen this season to reveal more of Himself, His love, His body, and His world to me.  

What do You want to do with These Dull Ears? August 30, 2011

            Jesus, what do you want to do with my dull ears? How are you using this hard thing for good, right now? I know it will have a ‘future weight of glory’, but it really doesn’t feel ‘light or momentary’, it seems downright mammoth and millennial. What can I grasp tonight as the fears taunt, overwhelm, and I futilely try to prepare for a “what-if” future of fulfilled fears. In my feeble flesh, help me to see your promises now, in the land of the living. Help me to hope—I cannot without You. The darkness of doubt, not of You, necessarily, is more disabling than the deafness.

            Now, its more, how do You, how can You, use me? Your word tells me my weaknesses make me strong—yet I feel spiritual atrophy and apathy. Help me to choose to trust, choose to hope, choose to worship in my weakness.

            You use these dull ears to draw me to You, to expose my flesh, my selfishness, pride, and self-reliance. The way you use me and my dull ears isn’t defined by what I can see. I may never know the extent of the ‘eternal weight of glory’ this suffering, and others will bring. I can choose joy, you command us to be ‘joyful in hope’. Dash my western framework that joy is an emotion; no, it’s a choice. Joy is a work of You as you change me to will to worship in weeping. May I remember the ways I’m blessed. Thank you for perspective.

            So, Jesus, thank you for turning a self-pitying and short-sighted plea into a fruitful prayer. You use my loss to teach me, to draw me to you in weakness. How you use it to impact my life and others, is up to you.

                        Amen

Tourist time and Language Lessons

In my last update I mentioned that we were going to go to the elephant orphan sanctuary and to see and feed giraffes…it was an amazing experience! I’ll let the pictures tell the story! It was so surreal to pet elephants as young as 6 months old and to watch them eat and drink! Then we were able to see a rhino! It was so much bigger than I thought and I think it needed a bigger space to walk around.

this little guy was about 6 months old

We were able to get right up to the rope and pet them!

This elephant looks so content.

Then the 8 of us piled back into our van to head to see the giraffes! I had seen pictures of friends visiting before but it’s hard to express just how big, beautiful, and soft giraffes are! Every person gets two handfuls of pellets to feed the giraffes and I was the first out of our group to let it kiss me…definitely an experience…and for your information…giraffe’s have very hairy tongues!

 Sunday I was so blessed to be able to go to Nairobi Chapel and to the Maasai market (which was an awesome crash course in bargaining and in tactfully saying no) with Joelle and her two friends. It was another unreal experience and one of the many ways it’s hit me that I’m actually HERE…12 year old self…it happened! In light of that, I’ve continued to be convicted that this time is so short, I have around 50 days left. I don’t want to waste them worrying about the next stage of my time here or about what life back home will look like. Daily, through prayer and reading in 2 Samuel and Proverbs, I’m being called, encouraged, and equipped to live in the moment; in my friendships here and in the daily tasks before me…like Jim Elliot articulates, “wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be from God” (Shadow of the Almighty).  Last night I was able to spend some time with people from SIM and AIM playing volleyball and having a worship time. It was another amazing way of seeing how diverse the body of Christ is, yet how united we are in Him!

Another big thing this week has been my 3 hour a day language classes. Before starting I was pretty nervous…I wasn’t sure how my hearing loss would affect this short stint in learning conversational kikuyu, a tribal language of Kenya. Gracias a Jesus! My Spanish background has proved to be essential in my comprehension of kikuyu since the verb conjugations are very similar in rule and in look; (drop the first letter add 2 or 3 different ones for tenses, etc). It’s neat to see how God truly does use everything for our good and his glory. Admittedly, I’ve had to “turn the Spanish switch off” since my default is to want to answer my teacher in Spanish. But she has told me I’m a fast learner and that is so encouraging! For our last lesson today we spent a good portion of the time just talking about life and it was so encouraging to hear her say that she believed God was going to use me to encourage people with disabilities! Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement!

Tomorrow we head out to our placement for 5ish weeks, with a break this coming weekend for a safari!  I hope to update once a week while there but internet will be limited.

Please continue to pray for health (for myself and the others who are adjusting to new foods/climates/altitudes) and for language comprehension and retention….I tend to understand it but remembering it….haha. se me fue el avion. J

Thii na wega

(may goodness go with you)

Even in the Valley you are faithful…- July 5, 2012

…you’re working for our good and for your glory.

I have listened to one of my favorite songs, Sovereign OverUs, by Aaron Keys, several times since my arrival here. Tonight, this lyric was ringing in my head…

Today started off with discouragement…it’s my grandpa’s 80^th birthday, I missed the 4^th of July festivities, and I wasn’t necessarily homesick, I really just wanted to be in two places at once.  Before my Kikuyu lesson I read through Proverbs 31 and was encouraged by several verses that talk about preparation and diligence, which reminded me that THIS day is profitable…there is purpose in waiting to go to my placement. I was also reminded of legacy living, (see my proverbs 31 post from last year) and how that starts today.  Being a wife and mother of character starts right now…character is formed out of habits. The things I am doing today are preparing me for the future God’s calling me to and the specific plans he has for me. Thankfully, these thoughts were further confirmed through a conversation with my Cousin and close friend Grace, as well as through a very encouraging email. In the discouragement of this morning God provided the encouragement I needed throughout the day.

Back to the song, this lyric not only describes today, but also the season before coming to Nairobi. I had been in a “dry/silent” season in my walk with God, as previous posts have indicated, but since being here I can see how He was “faithful in the valley…working for (my) good and for (His) glory”. I needed that season of walking by faith, not by sight. In hindsight, I can see how it prepared me to trust in this immediate time that is full of unknowns; culture shock, rural life, and overall change. I am anchored on the one who does not change because I have seen His provision and faithfulness in the past. The times of silence are faith building when we persevere. I have faith that He is purposeful in every unknown of life. I can trust His provision for today and the future in light of his character and provision in the past. Today, I was also encouraged by my Kikuyu teacher when she articulated that “you are going to encourage so many people with disabilities. You will talk with them and they will be encouraged by meeting you”. I was so grateful for the reminder that my disability is purposeful. Jesus is so faithful in our valleys. He is constantly working for our good and for His glory.

Notes on the first few days

I can’t believe I’ve only been here 4 full days. It has been a blur- forgive my random anecdotes.

I arrived safely to Nairobi Monday evening. God provided in so many amazing ways. I made all my flights, even with delays, and was amazed that at all but one point I met someone who worked with children with disabilities or had a child with disabilities.  The Amsterdam airport was difficult…I was exhausted, didn’t know the languages around me, and had to go through security again. Not to mention my perfume broke which, in hindsight, has been a blessing because my room and luggage smell amazing. The next blessing was that on my last flight I sat next to a Kenyan lady and we shared stories, I included my hearing loss. Upon arriving in Nairobi she spoke with a guard at the visa station who led me to the front of the line, I didn’t even have to wait. Such a blessing.

The first night was rough…20 hours of travel, with maybe 4 hours of sleep, and not a ton to eat collaborated into an emotional eruption upon arrival. God is so faithful and I was able to sleep 12 hours.  The next day was pretty low key- a brief orientation with three others who arrived the same day I did, and then Julie, the missionary I know here, stopped by and visited which was such a huge blessing! Then I had dinner with my mentor, and several other SIM members. 

The rest of the week has been spent meeting the many individuals involved in work here and getting to know the people I am living with on the compound as well as the others who arrived the same time I did  (from Canada and New Zealand) since we’ve been going through orientation together. It has been a blessing to do a city tour of Nairobi, seeing the Kibera slum as well as a school there, and moreover, hearing from and learning so much from all the people God is working in and through at various ministries here. Jet lag hasn’t been too bad—although I did wake up the second night  at 2 AM wanting coffee and pot roast. Haha. Overall, I have been humbled and blessed so much in these first few days. Today while walking by several groups of people begging, I was prompted to stop and pray with a lady and her child…it was difficult to not be able to help her in a tangible way (something our organization has many avenues for but as short termers we’re discouraged to do) but such an opportunity.

Next week I start language classes and have 5 days of that before heading out to my placement at a school with one other team member. Tomorrow we’re heading to an elephant sanctuary and giraffe park!

Please continue to pray for language acquisition as well as for and God-given ability to “be all here” and to have wisdom with the opportunities he’s given me here.

my fellow orientationers

Kibera

my room