With Us in the Fire and the Flood July 28, 2011

            When we’re in the middle of suffering, pain, and tragedy it’s difficult to see how God is involved, or that He cares. As finite humans who cling to our fickle feelings, it’s easy to go from a hard circumstance to defiance, doubt, and despair—within the span of 15 minutes. Tunnel vision is a huge temptation in the face of tragedy—and its crippling effects on are lives and holistic health don’t take long to manifest. I read in a book “The Wounded Healer” by Henri Nouwen, that life is not worth living without hope, without knowing someone, anyone, cares about you and your survival. A caring community is crucial to survival in the darkest seasons of life.

            The title of this post, “with us in the fire and the flood” is yet another portion of the song, “Sovereign Over Us”.  It drew me back to the first weeks and months after my diagnosis when I clung to Biblical passages like Isaiah 43:1-2 where God reminds Israel that He created them, formed them, and encourages them to not fear because of his promise that “when you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, the fame shall not consume you” (v.2). I needed to be reminded of that—the truth that Jesus not only cares about my pain—but is with me—like the 4^th guy in the fiery furnace. More importantly, and expectantly, I needed to know that God would work this hard thing for good.

            “Even what the enemy means for evil, You turn it for our good, You turn it for our good and for your                 glory, Even in the valley You are faithful You’re working for our good, You’re working for our                          good and for your glory”

            Three and a half years later, I can see how indeed those promises are true. Not only did Jesus carry me through those times, He also taught me so much through them—this blog is a prime example. Take heart, it is often in hindsight that we see His faithfulness—yet we’re called to trust even when we don’t see.  One of my favorite literary characters, Father Tim, of Jan Karon’s Mitford series, remarked in a sermon about a dark season that, “a deeper spiritual truth, I believe, lies in giving thanks in...everything. In loss of all kinds. In illness, in depression, in grief, in failure. And, of course in health and peace, success and happiness. In everything. There'll be times when you wonder how you can possibly thank Him for something that turns your life upside down; certainly there will be such times for me. Let us then, at times like these, give thanks on faith alone...obedient, trusting, hoping, believing”.

            I found an essential tether to trust in the depths of the waters of loss was to preach the gospel to myself—not let my thoughts stew and spiral, a sure path to despair and doubt. It was a struggle, a discipline, like taking the time to exercise during the holidays, but its effects were lasting and worth it.

            My prayer is that if you are in a fire or a flood, you would be encouraged. This too, even if its just the intense pain, and the effects of illness/disability don’t have a foreseeable end; will be hindsight. At some point you will see His purposes, how pain was used to prosper you—give you a hope and future. But more importantly, to cause you to call upon Him, to seek Him and find Him when you seek Him with all your heart. The fire is refining, the flood is cleansing, and He is with you.