Worth the Wait?

           We live in an extremely over sexualized culture.. From ads for yogurt to movie previews that make you blush, and innuendos in childrens' movies—it’s near impossible to escape the constant onslaught of media telling us to “live it up, mess around, enjoy life”.  As a Christian, the areas of dating, sex, and marriage are some of the primary ways we’re called to be set apart. In Paul’s letters to the Corinthians he calls them to a higher standard, reminding them that sexual sin is within your body and its implications are far reaching.

                        What do we believe?

            The Bible calls us to a higher standard—heterosexual, monogamy, for life; it’s not popular. Even as a Christian, do we use our sexuality as a tool, like the world to finding fulfillment, or as a testimony? Its so sad that the church’s response to our culture’s excess of sexuality is a suppression, denial, legalistic “Don’t do it ‘til you’re married” rule book, or a hands thrown up, given up “accommodate the sin and preach forgiveness (often neglecting the “little” detail that repentance is its basis). But the Bible’s approach is much better—it calls us to the higher standard not out of legalism, but out of love. Not to cause us to suffer, but because His plan is superior, truly satisfying.  I used to fall into the “young Christian woman” category that knew the “rules” but had lost the truth that Jesus also cares about romance—He wrote it! Its only been in the last few years that my eyes have been opened to the glorious truth that Jesus not only cares about my desires, but has designed them and wants to write the fulfillment of them out in my life, in his sovereignty. The book “When God Writes Your Love Story” by Eric and Leslie Ludy has been instrumental in the acceptance of God’s sovereign role in my life over the last few years- check it out!

            So in light of these polarities; culture and Christ, what’s a 23 year old to do? Is it worth the wait?  I have to remember that something of worth is not always easy. Often its crazy difficult, the relationship arena is no different.  The temptations and onslaughts on purity are everywhere. Well-meaning friends encourage me to, “just go out, make out; at least. You’re actually still waiting?” to the check-out magazines and even the body of Christ telling us singles to “just wait, it’s coming. Don’t worry” as if we’re waiting to be healed from a disease.

            It’s easy to forget that Christ identifies with us on every level of temptation. In a conversation at Starbucks a couple of summers ago, my friend remarked “you think Jesus wasn’t tempted? He was crazy popular for awhile- he probably had women falling all over him, you think he didn’t want to get married?” Likewise, Hebrews 2:18 relates that Christ “suffered when tempted [and he’s] able to help those who are being tempted”.  Not only does Christ know our temptations and desires, He cares, and designed romance and love. Marriage is to make us holy, more like Christ; not primarily to make us happy. Who wouldn’t want the author of romance to write their story? Is it easy to wait? Not always, but I trust that “those who are in Christ lack no good thing” and that means that the “good thing” for me today is singleness. Like Jim Elliot wrote to his future wife Elisabeth (in the midst of a 5 year wait to marriage) “let not our longing slay our appetite for living”. Like the sister of Eric Ludy, who when asked if she was called to singleness responded with “I am today”. There other things for me to do today than being in a relationship; not less, but different.  If I’m not content now, where He’s called me, I wont be when I’m married. Like John Piper aptly relates “before a couple gets married, and frequently afterward, they should look into each others eyes and say ‘you’re number two’ and if that’s not sweet to their ears, don’t marry them”.  I trust my Savior, His plans, timing, and promises. The wait may be hard, but I’m not alone. He’s waiting with me. It will be infinitely worth it.